Dear Mr Desmond Tiny,
I know you don’t read a lot, but I would be really grateful if you could read this letter from me. I can guarantee you that reading this won’t waste your time. Knowing how important time is to you… I read a lot about you in books and I know just how powerful you are. You really interested me. I hope that I will also interest you.
The reason for me writing to you is that I want to tell you about a few things and ask you for some help. Do not object- I can tell you I have great DNA…
Now, let me just say a few things about you. I think that you are an evil, stupid man who thinks that he can do anything just because he can do things others can’t. I think that you are just some rubbish stuck in our world and that you should make your way to another galaxy – actually, all the universe would be better off without you! And guess what, I’m not scared of you!
Even though I don’t really like the way you act sometimes, I still find you as an extraordinary character who I can learn a lot from. Would you take me and teach me to do everything that you do? Please! I’ll serve you and use all my powers to help you with all your evil deeds. I could become your servant and do anything for you. Just please, give me all that power that you have! I’ll serve you till the rest of my life! And it is worth it- believe me!
Well anyway, thank you for your time- well, if you give it to me! It’s really worth it. I am hoping that you will write back to me- I just also wish you could exist.
Yours Sincerely, Julia